They Might be Monsters

I do my best to go out into the world with an open heart.  The angry driver who cuts me off, the smarmy barista that barely cracks a smile; I know these attitudes are not directed at me, I just happen to be there.  I wish no ill will to these people.  In fact, I wish them peace and content and understanding.  But, on occasion I have come across people with "monster" mentality.  That is when I run the other way like my life depended on it.

We encounter monsters almost every day.  Sometimes we are related to them.  Like most horror movies, there are red flags and signs to indicate a monster is present.  It is your right to save yourself before you become "one of them".  I have come up with four monsters and ways you can escape.

The Vampire: Your girlfriend has a great home, children and husband.  You go to visit her one day, and in 15 minutes she has convinced you to color your hair, buy $300 jeans, participate in the cookie exchange, and go dancing on Saturday night.  This isn't the Twilight vampire you daydream about.  This vampire sucks your energy and hypnotizes you into poor judgment decisions.  You know you've encountered a vampire when you get home tired, late, and overall confused.  Why did I do that? you ask yourself.  The best defense from a vampire is avoidance. Don't go into their "lair", meet in a public place and stick to your time limit.  Vampires get off on the attention.  Give them less of yours and suddenly they are looking for another victim.

The Mummy: Your co-worker watches every reality show ever created, buys only high end handbags, clothes, and is constantly complaining about her wrinkles, grey hair.  Then she gossips about everyone. The mummy is wrapped up in superficiality, which hides the personal insecurities.  Always trying to compete with the celebrities in the rag magazines, mummy-mentality seeks comfort and company in misery.  To defeat the mummy you need to keep your mouth shut.  Give them no input, no information.  Once the mummy realizes you are no longer a viable soundboard, your boring quiet life is no longer of interest.

The Zombie: I had a job interview a few weeks ago.  I met with a woman who was out of breath and immediately assigned me a myriad of tasks.  Her cell phone went off and she took the call.  We were 3 minutes into the interview, and I knew about her ailing father, her divorce, her lack of funds and her desire to find hard working people for her business.  The zombie is often late, always busy doing something, and needs your help .  They never take a moment to heal, they don't even know they are injured, but they want YOU to take care of them.  NOW.  Just like the movies, your best defense is to block the zombie from grabbing you.  You become equally busy and unavailable.  Cold? Yes.  But the zombie is trying to off load their issues for you to resolve.  You have your own things to take care of.

The Ghost: Remember the time in high school when you wore that outfit and the teacher made a comment?  Remember when you were dating that guy with the hair and what he said at dinner?  Of course you don't, but the ghost does.  The ghost mentality lives and thrives in the past.  Most of the time, they recall their accomplishments and your humiliations.  They remind you of the turkey you undercooked three years ago, or how much you drank on that girls' weekend.  The ghost doesn't want anyone to point out their imperfections so they are quick to point out everyone else's.  Even if they have to dredge up your imperfections from last century.  Keep conversations in the present with a ghost (what are you doing this weekend) and deflect the past comments by laughing it off.

All monster mentality people ultimately ignore their own feelings of pain and fear.  Life isn't an easy skip in the meadow.  Sometimes it rains, sometimes you get hurt.  You can become a monster and run away from those problems, or you can be the triumphant hero and battle those problems.  Pick up your shield and sword, get your boots muddy, and deal with your own problems in your own pace.